“DO YOU WANT OR YOU DON’T WANT?”

Though warned repeatedly not to eat his jam sandwiches in the back of his elder brother’s car, little Mike loves to do just that. As he was enjoying smearing the back seat with his jam-laced fingers, he sees his brother coming. He hides under the seat. His brother comes in followed by his girlfriend. The elder brother drives to lovers’ lane. He stops the car and turns to his girlfriend, “We are here. Do you want or you don’t want?” Continue reading ““DO YOU WANT OR YOU DON’T WANT?””

BEFORE YOU CONFESS TO YOUR SPOUSE THINK OF THE INQUISITION

𝗡𝗮𝗴𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗱𝗼𝘂𝗯𝘁𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗹𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝘁𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗯𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝗻 𝗻𝗮𝗴𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗰𝗲𝗿𝘁𝗮𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗲𝘀

It is not always a question of some men not wanting to have a book from a public library frequently enjoyed but rather keeping a book you like to yourself. Some readers are careful with books they borrow but not all readers are the same. Book lovers may tell you it is not unusual to find books with torn covers or stained pages and marked words or lines. In volumes of classical paintings, sculpture, architecture and other books with coloured plates, one or more pages may have been removed surgically to avoid drawing the attention of librarians. Continue reading “BEFORE YOU CONFESS TO YOUR SPOUSE THINK OF THE INQUISITION”

DO IT YOURSELF CIRCUMCISION

The word for circumcision in Akkadian means in Arabic “butcher”

“Oh my God! Oh my God, Jesus, Mary and all the saints, Ali! Hun bun, you are not circumcised, how come?”
“You know how.”
“I mean why aren’t you circumcised?”
“You sound shocked. We’ve been married for 11 years with two kids; don’t tell me you haven’t seen it before!”
“Oh, no, it’s just I don’t remember seeing it dormant with its head covered before. You are Muslim, how come you are not circumcised?”
“All Muslim boys who grew up in Golders Green are not circumcised.”
“Yes!?”
“And my dad is Palestinian.”
“Meaning?!” Continue reading “DO IT YOURSELF CIRCUMCISION”

HOTTER THAN THE HOTTEST GIRL IN HELL

DIANNA AGRON REMAINS HOTTER THAN THE HOTTEST GIRL IN HELL AND ELIZABETH MORRIS HAS MANAGED MIRACULOUSLY SOMEHOW TO MATURE TO WOMANHOOD ADOLESCENTLY UNSCATHED

“Friar Jacob, I’m afraid I have bad news for you. #Gabriel told me over breakfast all rooms in heaven are already occupied and nobody seems willing to die. They have on the register more than 500 saints ahead of us including Saint Peter. I’m afraid it’s going to be a long wait.”
Friar Jacob: “Maybe we should go back to Earth. We still have our basement at the Vatican.” Continue reading “HOTTER THAN THE HOTTEST GIRL IN HELL”

RECIRCUMCISE ALL MUSLIMS AND JEWS

Rabbi Tzion may have a point

Adel Bishtawi

“What can I tell you, brother Avraham? I have a freaking headache and I feel as if I’ve got my back to the wall. For the past six months I’ve been telling the council of Jewish elders and the Council of Islamic scholars that the only way for Jews and Muslims to co-exist in peace in the Promised Land is for all Jews to convert to Islam and all Muslims to convert to Judaism. This way, Muslims cannot hate Jews because they’ve become Jews themselves, and Jews cannot hate Muslims because they’ll be hating themselves.” Continue reading “RECIRCUMCISE ALL MUSLIMS AND JEWS”